Families are often consumed by managing activities of the day, from school activities to work responsibilities. This busyness extends to other areas of our lives like extracurricular activities, community meetings, unexpected playdates, or other last minute scheduling blips. The reality is that for many families, busyness is the one thing that can drain a family's energy battery. The next thing you know, the family is experiencing irritability, fatigue, and burnout. It's a subtle phenomenon and every now and then you have to take stock of your busyness quotient.
Not sure if your family is too busy? Take this short quiz:
1. Do you or the family have an activity or obligation 4-6 nights per week?
2. Are you in constant scheduling mode throughout the week?
3. Are you mentally drained by mid-week?
4. Do you feel overwhelmed by your day-to-day responsibilities?
5. Are you cranky most of the time?
6. Do you feel like you have no time for yourself?
7. Are your weekends draining?
8. Do you resent not having control of your schedule?
9. Do you miss important events/meetings due to lack of time?
10. Do you have a hard time saying "No?"
Give yourself one point for each yes answer. See below for your score:
If you answered yes 7 or more questions - Too busy, need to make some changes asap!
If you answered yes to 4-6 questions - Your busyness is wearing you down and change is needed soon.
If you answered yes to 1-3 questions - You're busy but not to the point of overload. Keep an eye on your obligations and make adjustments as needed. The sooner the better.
One of my (Valerie) favorite books is You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam and Deep Work by Cal Newport. Both authors have a similar perspective when it comes to managing time and busyness. I encourage you to keep a time log over the next two weeks. Ideally, these are normal weeks that involve kid activities and your normal routine. Off season time tracking can work as well, since we can get off schedule during the busy summer months. In a nutshell, take the time to assess how you spend your time. Be completely honest and record everything like television watched, personal care, and commute time. Completing time logs will enable you to objectively assess your time allocations thereby putting every activity through a quality time grid. For example, if you participate on a community board that isn't that interesting but gives you "visibility" yet you get home late to hungry kids and then go to bed late, that's probably not the best use of your time. Additionally, it contributes to busyness and burnout at the same time.
That's the danger of busyness. You can be busy doing a lot of things but get emotionally drained in the process. Take the time to make an honest assessment of how you spend your time. Discuss your busy schedule with your spouse and improve your game plan so you're working with, not against each other. Afterward, take a good look at your family schedule and ask what are the non-negotiable activities that matters most? Is it church? What about unstructured family time? Busyness is a stressor on the entire family. Do everything you can to limit your busyness in order to have more meaningful, quality family and self-care time.
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